The Memiors of Lily Potter
by cassandra12271
Summary: It is October 31, 1981. It is revealed to Lily Potter that she must die for the cause of ultimate good.  Is she ready?  Can she die at such a young age?  She searches through her memories and thoughts as she makes the final choice...
1. Chapter 1

The Memoirs of Lily Potter

Prologue

I was flying to Hogwarts. No, it was more like floating. It was surrounded by a soft warm light, and the castle fascinated me as it had eleven years ago. However, this castle did not look as it always did. The castle was gray and bleak. Even though the sun shone its brightest rays, the castle still looked dreary.

"Hogwarts, what has happened to you? I remember when you were light and gay and you shimmered like a thousand jewels."

"Voldemort has made me like this. He has invaded my barriers. Hogwarts is not like it once was. If Voldemort keeps conquering England, then I will always be like this," the castle replied.

"What can I do to help you go back to the way you once were?"

"Only your newborn son can do it, but there is one condition: if you first accept death."

"Accept death? Of course I can accept death once I am older and all this terror has ended."

"No, you must accept death now. Only then can you help your son save your world, and I will shine as bright as a thousand jewels. Accept death now... now... now..."

I awoke. And I saw James standing at the right of the bed. "Are you okay, Lily? You seemed to be screaming in your dream about accepting death."

I was afraid, and I was glad that it was a dream, yet I knew it was no ordinary dream. It was a message. I had to do something that I did not want to do.

"James hold me! Tell me you will never leave me! I'm afraid."

Tears were spilling from my eyes, and James held me. I felt so warm being in his arms. I smelled the scent of the cologne he always wore, and I was comforted to know that he was always by my side and never leave me.

"Do not be afraid, Lily. I am here. No harm will come to you, I promise. Even if it costs me my life, I will protect you to make sure you and Harry are safe."

I believed him. I loved him. He was so sincere, sweet, and loving. He made me, who is so weak, stronger. As long as I had James with me, I felt that I could conquer anything. I kissed him, and I said softly, "I love you, James."

"I love you too, Lily."

James released me and told me that it was time to see Sirius and Remus. Even though I did not want to let him leave me, I knew that he should go and see his friends. His friends were his escape from all the terror happening in the wizard world. He was stressed just as I. He was a father, a husband and a friend. He had all that responsibility on his shoulders. I wanted him to be happy. So, I let him leave Harry and I behind while he went out.

I got dressed and looked out the window. It was October 31, 1981. I had always loved Halloween. There was a sense of fun and terror. I had always loved watching kids trick-or-treating and giving out candy. It was probably the only day of the year where parents let their children eat as much candy as they wanted. Everyone was in the Halloween spirit.

However, this day seemed to be different from every other Halloween. I felt something bad was going to happen to me and my family. The weather did not seem to ease my fears at all. It was a misty autumn morning. I heard the leaves rustle and the birds softly cawing. It all seemed to foretell death. "Accept death now." the castle had said in my dream.

"No!"I shouted, hoping not to wake up the sleeping Harry. I went into Harry's room and he was still sleeping soundly. I smiled at him, kissed him on the forehead, and went into the living room to contemplate my dream.

Death was my greatest fear. How could I leave this world? How could I be comforted I knowing that if I die I will no longer exist? I had heard that when you die there is a heaven, a hell, and an in-between. I did not want to be trapped in those two worlds. I was young. I had always took pride in my youth. I thought that when I die as an old woman, then eventually I would come to accept death, but now?.

This was all too soon. If I die now, then I will die with two of the biggest regrets in my life. The first regret was my sister, Petunia. Petunia lived with her husband Vernon, and they had a son Harry's age. We had a sisterhood torn apart by hatred, anger, and jealousy. I had done nothing to help bring back the loving sisterhood that we once had.

Indeed, I had not fulfilled my late mother's wish of us being a happy family. It was her dream of the sisters reuniting, visiting each others' houses and sitting by the fireside, Petunia and I discussing the latest gossip, and our husbands talking about sports.

Instead, I had been so afraid of my sister's jealousy and anger that I had avoided her and I still did. Our husbands and our children had never met. Once or twice I had written to Petunia, but she had never written back. I had never gone to find out where she lived or even tried to visit her house. If I died now, then my bond with Petunia would always be broken.

The second regret was Severus Snape. We were once childhood friends. We were inseparable, but it was different houses that had torn us apart. He was a Slytherin. I was a Gryffindor. For a time, it didn't bother me, but he always went the wrong ways. He was fascinated by the Dark Arts. I tried to stop him. In my fifth year, I gave up on him completely, telling him that I no longer wanted to be his friend. At that time, I thought that it was the right decision, but over the years, I found that it was one of the worst decisions in my life.

I should not have given up on him. I should have told him that I would always be there for him. I should have guided him on the right path. Instead, I left him in the dark, all alone. He had fake friends, and I was his one true friend. I wanted to apologize to him, but I was afraid. Afraid that he would reject me. I was afraid that he would do the same to me as I had done to him.

These two regrets pained me. Each of them were links to my childhood. Yet, it seemed that by giving up on them, I had also given up childhood. I had given up on them, not because I didn't believe in them, but because I was a coward. I had lacked the courage and strength to reunite with my sister and my childhood friend. I was a Gryffindor, a house with people who had courage. It seems that the Sorting Hat meant to mock me. He meant to put a coward in Gryffindor to make the people in Gryffinor braver than I.

That is probably why I had always loved James. He was different than I was. He was fearless, not afraid of anyone, and if he ever had broken relationships he would fix them. He was noble and courageous. Because of these factors, I envied him, I despised him. He was someone I was not. Someone I wanted to be, but I never had the courage to do so. I always thought that if I had been someone like James, then maybe I could heal the relationship with my sister. But I am not James. I am simply Lily. Lily Elizabeth Evans Potter. Did I truly belong to Gryffindor? If so, could I finally face my greatest fear of death, and accept it even with two painful regrets? I decided to look back upon my life to find the answer to my question and to see if I was ready to die.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

I looked back on the day that I met Severus Snape. Before I met him I had been a lonely child. The only person who made me feel alive was my older sister, Petunia. She looked out for me, and was protective of me. She had a sweet nature. She treated everyone as if they were special and because of this everyone loved her. I never had any friends in school. I kept mostly to myself. I felt that without Tuney, I was lonely. Because of my loneliness, I hated school and always failed my tests, and I never did my homework. Everyone made fun of me and called me weird. However, on the day I meant Severus, everything changed.

"You made an F on your math test again, Evans," said my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Higgins. Everybody laughed at me, and the most popular girl in my class, Cathleen, said, "Lily is the stupidest girl in the whole school." I groaned. How I hated school! I couldn't wait until I turned eighteen and could leave this school forever.

"Well, Ms. Evans, you have a chance to redeem yourself. You get to take the test again, and I am going to watch you take your test to see if you're trying to pass the test for once!" said Mrs. Higgins. Mrs. Higgins ushered me to her desk, where there was a smaller desk for students. When I started taking the test, I couldn't believe how easy it was. I finished it in less than ten minutes! I gave my paper to Mrs. Higgins.

After I sat down in my own desk, Cathleen leaned over her desk and and whispered softly in my ear, "I can't believe you and your sister Petunia are related! Petunia is pretty, smart, popular, and all the guys in school are madly in love with her. Whereas, you are ugly, stupid, and the most unpopular girl in school, and none of the guys in school would go out with you, even if you paid them for it. Everyone knows you are a freak! What a shame! I feel sorry for your sister!"

I was so mad at her that I wanted to punch her. I also wanted to glue Cathleen to her chair. It was only a second later when her best friend, Katie, called Cathleen over to her desk to talk to her. Cathleen tried to get up out of her seat but she couldn't, as if some sort of magical force was trying to restrain her from getting up. It took me a second before I realized that Cathleen was actually glued to her chair! I found it irresistible to smile. My revenge was complete!

"Mrs. Higgins!" Cathleen called.

"What?" asked Mrs. Higgins.

"Lily glued me to my seat!" said Cathleen.

"I did not!" I said.

"Yes, you did. I don't know how but you did," said Cathleen.

"Prove it," I was still smiling.

"If you didn't, then why are you smiling? You wanted this to happen to me didn't you?"

Everyone in class was mad at me. "Mrs. Higgins, wipe that smirk off her face!" Davey Jones said. Even though there was no proof that I did the crime, except my smile, Mrs. Higgins had no choice but to punish me..

"Outside now, Evans," yelled Mrs. Higgins. I reluctantly obeyed.

When I stepped out of the room, Mrs. Higgins came out with the Paddle. I cringed in fear at the sight of that torture weapon. Mrs. Higgins swung the Paddle and struck me so hard I fell to the floor. Tears were streaming down my face. Mrs. Higgins helped me to my feet, then hit me two more times, each one harder than the last. After she paddled me, there were tears stains on my clothes. I wiped my tears, went into the bathroom, washed my face and shirt. How I hated to be tortured! I vowed that if I saw someone getting tortured, then I would help them with all my might. No matter how cruel or nice that person may be.

When I got back in my classroom, everybody was laughing and making fun of me.

"Did the Paddle hurt?" asked a boy named Mark.

I ignored them all and focused on the clock. A minute before the bell rang, Mrs. Higgins announced to the class that I made a hundred on my test. Everybody looked at me in shock and disbelief as if they found out that I was the Queen of England.

Cathleen said, "Well, if Lily made a hundred on the test, then that means if my six year-old brother took the test right now, he would make a hundred on it." The bell rang and finally school was over.

I met Petunia at the front of the school. She was talking to the most popular boy in school, named Robert. My sister immediately laid eyes on me and called, "Lily, let's go home!" Robert glared at me. He was mad that I had ruined his conversation with my sister. My sister was very beautiful. She had curly blonde hair and blue eyes. I, on the other hand, was not very pretty. I had long red hair and emerald green eyes. I looked like a scarecrow compared to her.

Instead of going back home, Petunia and I went to the playground, where we always went to unwind after school. I wanted to have some fun. I wanted to get my mind off of what happened earlier that day. We went to our swings, and I began to swing. But I couldn't get my mind off of what had happened. I could not stop thinking of my classmates, Cathleen, Mrs Higgins, and the torture weapon, the paddle. Each time I thought about one of the them, the higher I swang.

"Lily, don't do it!" shrieked Petunia. But I wanted to jump. I felt that if I did that then all the things that had happened to me today, especially the paddle, would all fly away. I would not be upset anymore. I would be happy and cheerful as I always been.

When I could go no higher, I let go the swing, and I flew into the air. "Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!"I squealed. I was soaring over the playground. I felt what it was like to be a bird, to be free. I was free from all my burdens, peer pressure, and the mark that blasted torture weapon had left on me. I was me. I was Lily Elizabeth Evans. I would soar like no other had before. Then, I found the wind was slowly bringing me down to the ground as gracefully as a cat.

When I finally landed on my two feet, laughing, Petunia yelled at me. "Mummy told you not to!" I had done this too many times, and landed the way I always had done, but this time it was different. It comforted me. It gave me the feeling that I could go on.

Petunia stopped swinging and she ran to me with concern on her face. I didn't mean to worry my dear sweet sister. She put her hands on her hips just as Mom had always done. She looked just like our mother. "Mummy said you weren't allowed, Lily!"

I laughed and said, "But I'm fine." In order to distract my sister from telling our mother what we had done, I said, "Tuney, look at this. Watch what I can do." I ran to the bushes and picked up a fallen flower. I had just learned this a week ago while I was waiting for Petunia. Hopefully, I could impress my sister and cheer her up. Petunia moved up to me, still wearing a look of disapproval, but she was also curious. I waited until she was near,and I held out my palm. The flower was still for a second and then, all on its own, it opened and closed its petals as if it was some bizarre, many-lipped oyster.

Every time she watched, she would grow frightened. "Stop it!" she shrieked.

"It's not hurting you," I said. I closed my hand on the blossom and threw it back to the ground. I meant to impress my sister, not frighten her. I looked at her face. She was looking at me as the other kids in school saw me, like I was an alien from outer space. I looked down, trying hard not to cry. I didn't want Petunia, the person most precious to me to think what the other kids thought about me.

"It's not right," Petunia said. I slowly looked up at her face, and I found that her eyes were now on the flower that was on the ground. "How did you do it?" she asked me. There was a sense of awe in her voice, as if I could teach her how to do it. I smiled at her. Petunia didn't think of me as a weird kid, but a person who could do cool things and make things that seem impossible become possible. I loved my sister. She made me feel so special, so alive, and complete. I wanted to teach her how to do it, but I couldn't. I didn't know how I did it myself!

Suddenly a voice out of nowhere said, "It's obvious, isn't it?" A boy wearing a ridiculously large coat sprang out from the bushes. Petunia shrieked and ran backward toward the swings. I was startled, but remained where I was. I knew what it was like for people to run away from me, and I did not want to do the same to him. I studied him. He had long greasy black hair and sallow skin. He was taller than I was, and his face was redder because he seemed to regret what he had done. But what attracted me the most were his eyes. His deep brown eyes held loneliness, pain, and despair. I could relate to him for I was lonely. Petunia was my only friend, but she had friends of her own and there were very few times when I could hang out with her. I yearned to have a friend, another friend, whom I could talk too, and I couldn't bug Petunia all the time. Could this boy who was just as lonely as I be the friend that I had yearned for?

"What's obvious?" I asked.

The boy smiled and became excited. He looked at Petunia, who was still on the swings, and said, "I know what you are."

Fear gripped me. Please don't let it be an insult, I thought. "What do mean?" I asked. I wanted him to say that I was cool, that we could be friends.

"You're...you're a witch," the boy whispered.

I gasped. It was indeed an insult. He thought I was a freak like everyone in school. I wanted to cry. I had wanted him to be my friend so badly that he hurt me more than Cathleen or the torture weapon ever did. He too, a lonely boy, thought that I was not good enough for him.

"That's not a very nice thing to say to somebody!" I turned around and marched off towards Petunia.

"No!" the boy shrieked, chasing after me as I joined Petunia on the swings. Petunia and I glared at him. Petunia disapproved of him because of his appearance, I was angry that he insulted me.

"You are." the boy said to me, indicating in front of my sister that I was a freak. "You are a witch. I've been watching you for a while. But there's nothing wrong with that. My mum's one, and I'm a wizard."

He was indeed insulting me. He probably meant to call himself a wizard as his joke that I was indeed an alien from outer space. I was different even from him. I could not get anyone, not even him, to hang around me and to be my friend, and it hurt me.

Petunia obviously thought the same thing because she gave him a cold laugh. "Wizard!" she shrieked, glaring at him. "I know who you are. You're that Snape boy! They live down Spinner's End by the river," she informed me indicating that it was a bad place to go. She then turned her attention to "that Snape boy" and asked, "Why have you been spying on us?"

"That Snape boy", who was obviously uncomfortable, glared at Petunia and said, "Haven't been spying. Wouldn't spy on you anyway. You're a Muggle." Even though we did not know what "Muggle" meant, we knew that by his tone it was clearly meant as an offense. I was infuriated. First, he insulted me, and now he insulted my sister!

"Lily, come on, we are leaving" she said. I got out of my swing, and I started to make my way home, but I couldn't resist glaring at "that Snape boy" to let him know how I felt.

When we got home, our anger over "that Snape boy" vanished completely as we sat down to one of our mother's delicious home-cooked meals. She made baked chicken, mashed potatoes, carrots, and buttered toast. Our mouths watered at the sight of the food, and we dug in.

"Lily, how did you do on your math test?" my mom said half-way through our meal. I had forgotten that my mother knew about my math test, and I was glad I had made a hundred on it.

"I got a hundred," I said.

"A hundred on your test?" My mother gave me a suspicious look. "The last test you had you a got a thirty. Indeed, you always come home with twenties and thirties. I always have to look like I'm a bad mother every time I hear from my best friend Margaret talk about her son Jimmy always getting a hundred or a ninety-eight on his tests. If I actually told her my youngest daughter flunks her tests, she would think I'm the worst mother in town. Now, answer me truthfully, Lily, what did you actually get on your math test?"

"I told you mother, I made a hundred on my math test" I said.

:She held out her hand and said, "Let me see the score on your test. That way I will know for sure that you are not lying to me"

"She did not give the test back to me, mother. The teacher told me that I made a hundred on the math test." I knew that because the teacher didn't give me back my math test, then I did seem like I was lying to my family about my test.

"You better ask Mrs. Higgins to give you back your math test, and bring it home immediately. In the meantime, after dinner you go up to your room and study so that when you have a next test, you can do well on it."

"Now, now dear," my father said, "we don't know if Lily is lying to us. She may make a hundred on her math test, though getting a hundred on her test is like me making the Olympics. It is impossible. I do agree with you that after dinner she should go up to her room and study."

"Geez dad, at least I know how much faith you have in me." I said. I didn't blame them. For aside from the hundred, the highest score I got on a test was a forty.

After dinner and a yummy desert of chocolate pudding, I went up to my room. Instead of studying, I decided to read the comic book _The Mermaid's Pearl Vol. 8_. It was about a mermaid who has to find the pearl of healing in order to save her love, a prince from a foreign country, from a terrible curse. It was so romantic, and I couldn't wait to buy the next volume to find out what happened next.

After I read the comic, I changed into my pajamas and got into bed. I could not get any sleep. I lied awake thinking about "that Snape boy" Even though he insulted me, I could not help but be drawn to him, especially his eyes. He was lonely and unhappy just like me. Maybe I was different. I knew that there was always something strange about me. I had glued Cathleen to her seat, I had soared through the sky and landed gracefully on my feet, and I had made that flower do weird things. There was indeed something strange about me. Maybe he meant to tell the truth that I was a witch. I realized that he didn't mean any harm in what he said, and that instead of mocking me for being different, he meant that it was okay to be different and accepted me.

I smiled thinking about him. I had misunderstood him. He wanted me to be his friend, but I blew him off. I wanted to become his friend, but will he accept me or will he reject me. I knew that if I was to ever accept him as a friend, then I must first come to terms that I was not like the other kids at school.

It was hard. I had always wanted to be accepted. I wanted to be just like them, but I yearned for a friend. I knew that the "Snape boy" was my clue that if I accepted him as a friend, then maybe I could come to the terms that I was different. I needed him as much as he too needed a friend.

The next day at school was another horrid day. I had fallen asleep in school because I did not get any sleep the night before. Mrs. Higgins slammed her ruler hard on my desk so that I jolted awake, much to the amusement of Cathleen and my classmates.

After school I asked Mrs. Higgins for the math test that I made a hundred on. I gave it to Petunia, telling her to go home without me. I was about to go to the playground, but she stopped me and said, "Where are you going, Lily. Please don't tell me you are going to see that boy, are you?"

"What if I am? " I asked.

She grabbed my shoulders and said, "Don't go, Lily. That boy is a freak and he thinks you are too. Do not go!"

I smiled at my caring sister, and I said, "Don't worry. I'll be okay. I'm just going to give him a piece of my mind or two."

That seemed to comfort my sister. She let go of me and said, "Don't be long. If you are not back in an hour I will come to the playground and get you."

I nodded, ran to the playground, and looked all around for him. He was not there. I sat on the swings and waited. Minutes passed by, and he still did not come. I finally decided to give up and go home, so as to not let Petunia worry.

All of a sudden, I saw him walking toward the playground. "Snape! Snape!" I shouted, calling after him. He was startled when he saw me, and he turned around and ran. I chased after him."Wait! Wait! Please, I want to talk to you!" I pleaded.

He halted. Slowly, he turned around to face me. I saw that he was hurt by what happened yesterday. "Why? You didn't seem to want to talk to me yesterday. You wanted to get rid of me." His voice shivered and I could tell he was trying to hold back tears.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you. I thought that you meant to make fun of me. Everyone, except my sister, has teased me. I didn't know what to believe, and I didn't trust you. I know that something weird has been going on around me lately."

"I told you. You are a witch. Now, good-bye."

"Please," I pleaded. "I need you. I want you to be my friend. You and I are alike. We are both lonely people in need of a friend. I want you as a friend. I want to come to terms with being different, and if I am indeed a witch I want you to help me. Please be my friend."

He stood there studying me. I held my breath, waiting. Was he going to reject me? If he did, then I wouldn't blame him. I was a jerk to him yesterday. Finally after a long moment, he said, "I am already your friend."

I beamed and released my breath. I hugged him. He was surprised, but he finally hugged me back. "My name is Lily Evans. What is your name?"

"My name is Severus Snape. Yes, I am a wizard, and I will prove to you that I am a wizard."

He held out his hand, and suddenly a nearby bush began to shake. A pristine, petite, white flower dislodged itself from its branches and floated into Severus's hand . "This is for you, Lily." I smiled at him. Not only was I coming to terms that it was okay if we were both different, but it was the beginning of my friendship with Severus that started to blossom.


	3. Chapter 3

A.N:Sorry it took me so long to write. My computer broke down, and I had to get it fixed! Anyways I hope you like this chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Harry Potter.

Chapter 3

How wonderful it was to have a friend! Never before had I ever been so blessed! It was my dream come true. I was not lonely anymore. I had a loving, caring sister and a friend. A friend who cared about me.

When Severus found out that I was doing poorly in school, he was upset. "Promise me, Lily, that you will never make bad grades in any school that you attend, especially not at Hogwarts the school that we will both attend one day. Promise me that you will be the top student. I want you to shine because I know you can shine as bright as the Northern Star," Severus said looking up at the sky.

"I promise. I will do the best I can for you," I whispered to him softly in his ear, comforting him. I held up my pinky, and I said, "I pinky promise." He held up his pinky and wrapped his finger softly around mine. It felt so warm, his pinky on mine. I felt complete. This is what friendship felt like, completeness, happiness, existence. I wanted to make him happy.

From then on, I never wanted to upset him again. I did my best in school for him. All of my classmates were shocked with how good in school I was. Mrs. Higgins and my parents were proud of me. Nobody made fun of me, they just left me alone. I didn't care. I was not lonely anymore because I had Severus. With Severus by my side, I felt that I could conquer anything, even the moon.

I was also coming to terms with who I was. Together, Severus and I practiced magic, and I was convinced that I was a witch and I would go to a magical school named Hogwarts with Severus. Hogwarts seemed like it was a fairytale castle that only Snape and I could go to. I couldn't wait to go to Hogwarts! Maybe I could bring my sister, Petunia along. However, the most important thing about me becoming a witch was that Severus made me realize that it was okay to be who I was.

"Lily, are you hanging out with that Snape boy?" Petunia asked me one day when I had gone home from the playground.

"Yeah, I am." I replied walking on into the living room. I wanted to ignore Petunia's look of disdain that she wore on her face. I don't know why she disapproved of him so much.

"Don't you dare hang out with him! He is a devil's spawn, bad blood!" Petunia shrieked.

I glared at her and tried hard to control my anger. "What does it matter to you who I hang out with? He is not at all like you described! He is nice! I'm glad that besides you he is the only one who accepts me."

"Why? Because he tells you that you are a witch? Listen, Lily, there is no such thing as Hogwarts. I looked it up. He is a liar! He has ruined you! Look at what he has done to you, Lily! He has made you do weird abnormal things!" Petunia was on the brink of tears. My anger quickly ebbed away from me, and I felt like I was stabbed by a thousand knives. I didn't want her to cry. I took my sister in my arms, and held her close.

"Lily, stay away from him. Promise me, you will not go near him! Promise me!" she begged crying on my shoulder.

I parted from my sister, and I looked into her blue eyes. I wanted to make her understand and to know how important Severus was to me. "Tuney, I love you, but I also love Severus. The two of you are so precious to me. I can not bear it, if one of you leave me. I need both of you. You have your own friends. Please let me have my own. Please."

Petunia was about to open her mouth, but she closed it. Instead we stood there staring at each other in silence. Seconds turned to minutes, and the minutes felt like hours. Until finally Petunia sighed, "Very well. I give up, but please don't believe him. There is no such thing as Hogwarts. It does not exist." Without another word, she left the living room, and went up the stairs. She never looked back.

I could not believe what she had said, that there was no Hogwarts, a magical place that Severus and I would go to get away. I did not want to distrust Severus, but I also I did want to distrust my sister. According to Petunia, Severus was a liar, but I could not believe it. I did not want to choose between my sister and my new friend. Surely, surely, there had to be a middle ground.

My family had already gone to bed, but I stayed up late that night reading _The Mermaid's Pearl Vol. 9_, because I wanted to get my mind off Petunia and Severus. Why couldn't Petunia understand me? Why couldn't she see the good in Severus? I sighed and put the comic down, changed into my pajamas and got into bed. The darkness in my room made everything seem peaceful. It seemed that my relationship wth Petunia would be the same again before I met Severus. She would come to understand. I was drifting off into sleep,when all of a sudden I heard a tap on my window. I jotled awake and fear gripped me. What could it be? Maybe, it was just the wind. I felt comforted by this suggestion and I closed my eyes and was drifting to sleep, when I heard another tap on my window. I tucked the covers over my head. I was scared. Was it a burglar or a murderer coming to kill us in the night? I didn't want to die, not now. I was too young, only ten years old. I had heard on the news that there was a serial killer named Voldemort wondering around the streets. Was it him? There was again another tap on my window, and I felt that I must do something. I had to protect my family, I had to because I was the only one up. I pulled the covers away from me, and I looked around my room for something to protect myself with. I spotted the baseball bat, and crawling on the floor I picked it up, and I sneaked by the window.

"Okay," I wishispered. trying hard to keep myself calm, and trying to stop my hands from shaking. "Count to three. One... Two... Three..." I then stood into the window. My hands holding the bat. I saw Severus out there throwing rocks and relief swept me.

"Lily," he whispered. I saw that his voice was shaking. His eyes were red, and I could tell that he had been crying. "Lily, what are you doing with that bat?" Snape asked.

All of a sudden, I felt like a fool standing there with a bat, and I was embarassed. "I thought you were either a burglar or a murderer."

"Lily..." his voice faded. I knew something bad had happened. He needed me.

"Hold on, one second. I will be right there." I said trying to keep my voice calm. I put on a jacket and ran out of the house. I stood there in front of him, the two of us staring at each other.

"How did you know where I live?" I asked him.

"I followed you home one day. Lily..." Again his voice faded, and he was trying hard not to cry. He stood there lifeless. His brown eyes held sadness, despair, and loneliness. I felt my soul ripped in half when I saw his unhappiness.

"Lily, I'm scared. My parents are fighting again, and they won't stop. It was all about how my mother bought the wrong type of coffee..." All of a sudden tears ran down his eyes. I wrapped my arms around Severus and hugged him. He was crying on my shoulder. We didn't say anything. I held him, comforting him. I did not want to let him go. All of a sudden, he was calm. He wrapped his arms around me. The darkness emited a kind of peacefulness and my presence comforted Severus. We both felt that everything would be okay. After an hour of being in each other's arms, we parted and stared into each other's eyes.

"Thanks Lily, I feel a lot better. I should go before your parents wake up and discover that you are missing. You should also get some sleep." He looked at me as if he wanted to say more, but he turned around and started walking back home.

I did not want him to leave. I wanted him to stay by my side in his arms forever. "Severus!" I called. Severus froze and stood still in his tracks.

"Yes, Lily," he asked. I walked over to him and hugged him. "Whenever you need me, call on me, and I will be waiting for you. Remember, I am always by your side. Also, you can come to my house whenever you want to."

We parted, and he smiled. I could not help thinking that he had a beautiful smile. His white teeth lit up the whole street. "I'll remember that, Lily!" He turned around and he ran home beaming, jumping, and leaping, out of my sight, and I knew that if Severus ever had wings, he would fly home.

I then went to my room, and lie down on my bed. I thought about what Petunia said and about Severus's parents fighting. Hopefully, Hogwarts existed so that Severus could go there so that he wouldn't have to hear anymore of his parents fighting.

The next day I couldn't wait to see Severus. I wanted to know if he was okay. I found him on the playground, and I could see that he was still upset. I wanted to make him smile as he did last night.

I sneaked up to him, and I covered his eyes with my hands and shouted "Boo!" laughing.

"Lily, you didn't surprise me. I knew you would come!" He still wasn't smiling, and the image of his parents still haunted him. I thought of the perfect place we would go to clear his mind.

"Hey Severus! Come with me! I want to show you something," I said.

He got up and followed me. "Where are we going, Lily?" he asked.

I tried hard to keep myself from smiling, and I said, "It's a surprise!" We walked into a forest, and stopped at a river. It was beautiful with the sunlight touching the river and the the trees surrounding us. It felt like a place that could clear our heads. "Daddy took us here when we were four. We used to go here every weekend. Sometimes, whenever I am feeling down I would come here alone. Severus, I want you to clear your mind here. From now on, whenever we have problems we can escape here."

"Thank you, Lily," Severus said as we sat down and removed his coat.

"So tell me more about Hogwarts," I asked lazily.

"It is a school for witches and wizards and we can do magic in school, but do not do magic outside of the school. The wizarding world is ruled by the Ministry of Magic, and the Ministry can punish you if you do magic outside of the school. You get letters."

Uh-oh. I looked back to see if an owl had come from the Ministry of Magic. But there were no owls there were just different kinds of birds singing in a tree. "But I have done magic outside of school!" I said, trying to keep my voice calm.

Severus shrugged, which indicated that there was nothing to be worried about. "We've haven't got wands yet. They let you go off when you are a kid, and you can't help it." He looked at me warningly. "But once you're eleven, and they start training you, then you've got to be careful." I nodded at him. I would not use magic outside of school. I did not want to get into trouble. I shivered at the thought about getting in trouble, if Mrs. Higgins used the paddle on me, then I know that the Ministry of Magic's punishment would be even more unpleasant.

I then picked up a twig on the ground, and imagined myself holding a real wand in my hand, and twirled it and muttered, "Abracadbra!" and imagined light coming from the twig to do my real bidding. All of a sudden I remembered what Petunia said about Severus lying to me, and I dropped the twig, and looked into Severus' brown eyes, and pleaded, "It is real, isn't it? It's not a joke? Petunia says that you're lying to me. Petunia says there isn't a Hogwarts. It is real, isn't it?"

Severus looked into my eyes and I saw that he was annoyed that I had doubted him. "It's real for us. Not for her. But, we'll get the letter, you and me."

"Really?" I whispered. I hoped so. I wanted Severus to go to a place where he could avoid his parents fighting. I no longer wanted him to be sad .

"Definitely," Severus assured me. He looked so confident that for a second I thought how handsome he looked.

"And it will come by an owl," I asked thinking how weird it would be for an owl to come by daylight?

"Normally, but you're Muggle-born so somebody will have to come and explain it to your parents."

I remembered how Severus said that Petunia was nothing more than a Muggle with distaste in his mouth. Was Muggle-born looked down upon for other wizards? "Does it make a difference, being a Muggle-born?" I asked him.

I looked into Severus eyes. I saw that he wanted to tell me something to warn me against anything bad that was happening, but he held his tongue, and he said,:"No, it doesn't make any difference."

I was relieved. I knew that Severus accepted me, and by the look he gave me, I knew that Severus would protect me from them. "Good," I said.

I laid down on the ground looking at the beautful leaves on the tree. It was really peaceful, calm, and translucent. I felt all my worries washed away. However, I could not forget about what happened last night with Severus, and I sat up immediately and looked at Severus with concern. "How are things at your house?" I asked him.

He bit his lip. "Fine," he said bitterly, but I knew that he was lying. He was trying to not make me worry about him, but I wanted to worry about him. I wanted him to know that it was okay for him to tell me these things. I wanted to take his burden and his problems away from him.

"They're not arguing anymore?" I asked him.

"Oh, yes they're arguing," Severus said angrily, taking a fistful of leaves and ripping them apart. "But it won't be long, and I'll be gone."

"Doesn't your dad like magic?" I asked him, remebering that Severus told me that his dad was a Muggle and his mom was a witch, and he didn't want his son to be a wizard.

"He doesn't like anything, much." Severus said, and I saw in his eyes that he was yearning for his dad to accept him for who he was.

I wanted to get his mind off unpleasant things, so I asked, "Severus?"

Severus smiled when I said his name, and I couldn't help smiling at him too. "Yeah?" he asked.

I quickly thought of a question to distract him from his problems and said, "Tell me about those dementors again."

I had heard that dementors were souless hooded creatures that sucked away people's happiness. Hearing about the dementors would always send shivers down my spine. Severus sighed, giving me a look that said, I told you everything about the dementors, but said, "What do you want to know about them for?"

I shruuged, and said, "If I use magic outside of school-"

But Severus interrupted me, "They wouldn't give you to the dementors for that! Dementors are for people who do really bad stuff. They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. You're not going to end up in Azkaban, you're too-" He stopped abruptly. He blushed red scarlet and shredded more leaves. I was about to laugh at him, when I heard a loud noise behind me.

I looked up and saw that it was Petunia! "Tuney!" I cried with surprise and welcome. I was so glad she was there. However, Severus jumped to his feet looking at her with distaste.

"Who's spying now?" He shouted at her. "What do you want?" I didn't like how Severus was treating Petunia. How I wished they would get along!

Petunia looked alarmed, and I could tell that she didn't want to get caught."What is that you're wearing, anyway?" She asked pointing at Severus's shirt. "Your mum's blouse?" I knew that Petunia was making it up. She just wanted to hurt Severus to make him pay for what he said. All of a sudden a branch right above Petunia's head broke from the tree with a loud crack and fell on Petunia's shoulder. She staggered backward and burst into tears, and ran away. I was angry at Severus! How dare he hurt my sister.

"Tuney!" I called after her, but she was already gone away from earshot. I got up and rounded on Severus. "Did you make that happen?"

"No!" he said, but I could see in his eyes that he was afraid of what he had done.

"I backed away from him, and shrieked, "You did! You did! You hurt her!"

"No-no I didn't!" Severus said, but I could tell that he was lying.

I gave him one last burning look, and I ran off after Petunia. Tears were streaming down my eyes. Never before had I ever been so miserable. I knew that deep in my heart, I was not only sad that Severus had hurt my precious sister, but that Petunia and Severus would never reconcile. My hopes of having the two of them getting along would never happen.

Petunia stopped running and saw me. "Lily, that Snape boy hurt me! Please do not be friends with him again. Please."

"I'm sorry that he hurt you. He didn't mean it!"

Petunia glared at him, and asked, "Why do you always stick up for him, Lily! Why?"

"Because he is the first person besides you who accepts me. Severus is still very close to my heart."

She sighed, and I could see that she wanted to drop the subject. She looked at me with tenderness and hugged me. "I love you, Lily. You know that I always want the best for you."

"I love you too, Tuney. I know you do care what is best for me, but please don't make me choose." I begged.

She said nothing, but I could tell that she had a look of disdain, and I knew she was thinking about Severus. Together, we stayed in each other's arms, and I didn't want to think about the future. I only wanted to focus on the present, and I wished that I could stay like this forever.

The next day, I went to the playground, and found Severus on the swings. I could tell that he had been miserable ever since I left him. I felt a pang of regret and guilt. He already had problems at home, and I did not want him to have any friendship problems.

"Lily, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your sister," Severus said giving me a look of regret.

"I know you're sorry, and I forgive you. Please let us forget the past and not dwell on the future. Let us just focus on the present." I said.

Severus gave me a full smile, and I couldn't help but smile back. "That is a great idea! Tag you're it!" He tapped me on the shoulder, and together we played tagged. For the first time in days, I finally felt freedom and relief about the relationship between Severus and Petunia.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

The day had come. It was finally my eleventh birthday! My parents decided to invite my grandparents and go to my favorite restuarant, Lil's Diner. I wanted to take Severus with me, but his parents didn't want him to go. They wanted it to be a family outing. I was disappointed that he could not come, but maybe he could come to my birthday dinner next year. Petunia, on the other hand, was happy that he wasn't going with us. My mom fixed us a special birthday breakfast. After breakfast, a knock was heard at the door.

My mom was confused and asked, "Who could that be? Is it our neighbor, Mrs. Eddings who has promised to make Lily apple pie for her birthday? She never comes this early though."

My dad sighed and said, "It's probably a salesman." Another knock convinced my dad that it may not be a salesman, and he got up to go to the door. I was hopeful Could it be a person from Hogwarts who came to tell me that I was a witch? Was Snape right all along and my sister wrong! Oh how I hoped so. However, my happiness and hopefulness were soon gone as I saw the look on Petunia's face. Petunia's face that was once happy and pleasant this morning had changed to anxiousness and dread. She was hoping that it was a salesman, instead of a person from Hogwarts. Her look touched my heart, and I wished that it too was a salesman and the person from Hogwarts should come tomorrow so that we could all enjoy my eleventh birthday.

I heard my dad opening the door, and a cheerful voice said, "Hello, My name is Professor Slughorn. I am a professor of Hogwarts School. Is this the home of Ms. Lily Evans?"

"Yes," my dad said, and I knew he was confused as to why a professor of a different school would want to speak to his daughter, "Umm... yes she's here. We have just finished breakfast."

We heard my dad's footsteps and he told us that Profesor Slughorn wanted to speak with me. "That's odd!" my mom exclaimed, "Why would a professor from a different school want to speak with Lily? She doesn't have good enough grades, though she is doing much better than she did before. If any private school was interested in any of my girls, shouldn't it be Petunia, who always made excellent grades since kindgergarten?"

My dad shook his head and said, "I don't know my dear. I am confused myself."

We got up and went to the living room. When I opened the door. I found the professor sitting on the couch reading my dad's real estate magazine. I saw that he was a short man with a large belly and a bald head with a big, enormous, walrus-like moustache. He also wore old-fashioned clothers that was popular in the forties era.

When Petunia saw him,she laughed and whispered, "This must be a big joke. He should realize that this is the seventies, not the forties!"

I glared at her and whispered back, "You have no right to judge someone's appearance. He is a professor, and deserves respect!"

"Yeah right! A professor in the circus he may be!"

I was shocked at how my sister was acting towards this man. She was not the type of person to insult upon first sight. She was calm, reserved, and respectable. Someething must be wrong with her to act like this. I decided not to think about my sister's behavior, and instead turned my attention to the professor.

I smiled, shook hands with him, and said, "Hello Professor Slughorn! My name is Lily Evans! Welcome!"

My mom then asked if he would like any refreshments. He refused. He then turned his attention to me. "Good morning Ms. Evans. Do you know why I'm here?"

I nodded. I must remain calm. The dreaded moment of me telling my parents that I was a witch had indeed come. I should tell them now so that I can get this over with. "Yes, it is because I am a witch, isn't it?"

My parents looked at me with shock and astonishment. My dad fell to the floor when he heard what I said. My mom shouted angrily, "Lily Elizabeth Evans! How dare you call yourself a witch in the presence of a very respectable professor! You must apologize to him for this rude and imperitnent joke!"

"It's okay. Lily is right. She is a witch and soon she will become a young brillant witch. I am potions master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It is a school only for witches and wizards in the whole country and is known to be one of the top wizardry schools in the whole world. We have found that your daughter, meets the qualifications to attend the school."

My parents were still shocked, and my mother looked like she was about to faint. My dad said, "Are you joking sir? Did Lily beg you for help to pulll a birthday prank for her birthday?"

"No sir, Mr. Evans. This is no joke. This is a serious matter. Tell me, Mr. Evans and Mrs. Evans, was there ever a time that Lily did something that was unexplainable, almost magical?"

My parents squinted their eyes, trying to remember when I had done magic. "Yes, when Lily was four years old. She was playing with a round ball, her favorite toy, and she tripped over the top step and fell down the stairs. We thought that she would be dead or seriously injured after such a fall. But she was not hurt. She was alive and well with no bruises, no broken limbs. She was perfectly fine. There have been other unexplainable incidents that happened to her life that had to be magical."

My dad nodded in agreement and said, "I thought that it was just luck. I never thought that it could be magic. Professor Slughorn, are you really telling the truth? Could you really do magic?"

Professor Slughorn nodded and said, "Yes, I am telling you the truth, and I will perform magic for you. Our headmaster, Professor Dumbledore has allowed professors to show non-magical parents a little magic to help them realize that we are not joking." Professor Slughorn took out his wand, and with a delicate flip of his wrist, lifted up the coffee table and moved it to the other side of the room. After a few seconds, he moved the coffee table back to its regular place. My mother and dad were delighted at seeing magic, and they asked him to do it again, which Professor Slughorn was very happy to comply.

My parents stood up and clapped their hands and exclaimed, "Bravo! Will Lily be able to do that?"

"Yes, she can and do much more than that. However, she would not be able to show you any of her magic until she turns seventeen. For she is forbidden to do magic outside of school."

"Seventeen?" my dad asked, disappointed, "Seventeen? I would have to wait that long to see her doing magic. That is ridicuolous. Parents who give their consent to see their children going to a magic school, can't even watch their own children performing magic until seventeen? That is really disappointing."

"I am sorry, Mr. Evans. It is not only the school's rules, but our government, the Ministry of Magic who made the rule. The school has to comply. But just think if you do send your daughter to that school, then all you need to do is wait seven years to finally see your daughter performing magic. Besides the school is not only to teach students how to use magic, but to teach students to have skills neccesary to live in the wizarding world. You see witches and wizards even though they live in the same country as you do, have their own government and careers. Hogwarts will help make a pathway for Lily to have a career in the wizarding world."

"So, not only am I choosing to go to this school, but I am also choosing a way of life?" I asked.

"Yes," Professor Slughorn said, "but in order to choose your way of life, you must first accept who you are and who you would want to be."

My parents nodded, for this was good advice. Professor Slughorn then took out a letter from his pocket and said, "Here is your letter from Hogwarts. I must leave at once but in case you decide to go to Hogwarts, I shall leave an owl for you to respond back."

Professor Slughorn shoved the letter from Hogwarts, said good-bye, and left. My family turned their eyes to me to read it. I could not help but look at the Hogwarts stamp, for it looked very interesting. The stamp looked medieval with a shield, and with a snake and a lion at the top and a badger and a golden raven in the bottom with the colors red, green, yellow, and blue. I could not help but wished to study it longer. I felt everybody's eyes on me expecting me to read it to them. I opened the letter and read aloud:

**Dear Ms. Evans,**

**We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You receive quality training. I trust that Professor Slughorn has told you about our school. Please send word by owl if you are interested in coming so that in late August Professor Slughorn come back and help you get your school supplies.**

**Professor McGonagall**

**Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

The letter comfirmed Professor Slughorn's words. We re-read the letter twice. My parents were very proud of me.

"Well Lily, do you want to attend this school? I think it would be good for you. This school will help you not only help help you accept yourself, but to love who you are. This school seems to be right for you." my mom said.. I could not help but smile, for my parents were really proud of me being a witch. I then turned my look to Petunia. She had said no word at all during Professor Slughorn's visit except to insult. The sight of her nealy crushed my heart. Her face looked as white as death. She then got up and didn't say anything. I was very upset. Never before had I ever seen my sister looking like this.

My parents said to me, "Lily, you have until lunch time to decide if you want to go Hogwarts."

I nodded, went up to my room, and I cried. I could not get Petunia's face out of my head. Should I go to this school or not? Which one should I choose? If I went to that school, Petunia would be so unhappy, but if I did not go to that school then Petunia would be happy, and I would be unhappy. I didn't like my school and my classmates. They called me weird. They made my life miserable for four years. Severus would leave me too for I would not see him again until Christmas. I would be alone with Petunia, and Petunia having her own friends would leave me alone too. I sighed. This was a tough decision, and I finally decided on Hogwarts, for while I did not wish to upset my sister, I should make a decision in which I would be happy.

I then came down and I told my parents that I would be going to Hogwarts School of Witchraft and Wizardry. My parents burst out with excitement, hugged me and told me how happy they were for my decision. After my parents left to get the owl, and I had sat down to confirm to Hogwarts that I was going, I was alone with Petunia. It was an uncomfortable silence.

I finsally said, "Petunia? Are you mad at me about my decision to go to Hogwarts?"

"No. I'm not. I want you to go to Hogwarts. Our parents want you to. It would be unreasonable if you didn't go," Petunia said after a few moments of silence.

My eyes lit up with complete happiness, for I really wanted to go school.

"Really? You don't mind?" I asked.

"Of course I don't mind," said Petunia as she turned and walked out of the room. I couldn't help but feel that Petunia was lying to me.

After I wrote a letter of confirmation to Hogwarts and delievered the letter by the owl, I asked Petunia if she would come with me to the playground. She shook her head no. I decided that I would not to the playground at all for I did not feel like going after Petunia's behavior So I stayed in my room and read _The Mermaid's Pearl_ comic books. At 3 o' clock, Mrs. Eddings stopped by to give us the apple pie. We sat down and ate it, but no matter how good it was, it still tasted sour, for I couldn't help but to notice Petunia glaring at me while she was eating. Afterwards, we both went up to our rooms. I could not wait to go to Lil's Diner, where seeing the sight of my grandparents could help put both Petunia and I in a better mood.

When we got to Lil's Diner, we ordered our meals and my parents told my grandparents about me being a witch. They jumped for joy and congratulated me. "Lily, promise your family that you will strive hard at Hogwarts and that you will be the top in your class," my mom said. I promised.

After dinner we went back home and I checked my clock and saw that it was midnight. "Well, let's all go to sleep. It's past your bedtime," my dad said. I said good-night to my parents who said good-night back. Then I turned around and said good-night to Petunia, who didn't say good-night. She just went to her room. I went to my room, and I went to bed hoping that tomorrow Petunia would forgive me for making my decision and to support me in going to Hogwarts. I then fell asleep wondering if I had an excellent or horrible birthday.


End file.
